I never dream but bad things. Last night i dream't someone was trying to steal my shoes, and whats worse i woke up in the morning and they were gone. I went into the bathroom and took a leek, I looked down and i had no penis. Instead their was this head. A gremlin i suppose you could call it. it coughed out my pee all over the place. Then it turned around and began speaking to me,
'Hay frank do you feel okay cos you don't look okay.'
Thats when i checked my reflection and holy shit, my head wasn't even there. I had no head. Then i went and lay back down in bed, it was all too crazy. I turned in my bed and there was my wife but under the covers she was a giant praying mantis. She began to fuck me with a needle like clitoris and i screamed out
oh fuck me.
But she kept hammering away like it was the best sex she had ever had.
Thats when i woke up and saw a spider eating itself. I rolled over in my bed and the bed sheets were all red, and there was my wife all cut up and dead, her head was completely missing. Ohh my god what have i done. But then came a bang on the door, BANG BANG followed by
'open up nigger its the police'
'I'm not a nigger,' i said.
'well then open up white nigger, its the police'
I had no time to put my pants on for the door bust down and two large black men entered. It was Will Smith and another lesser known celebrity, they looked around my apartment with disgust as the place was a mess, a cess-pool, full trash and the smell of cat shit hovered in the air.
'Come to investigate a call in, a noise disturbance, neighbors heard screaming,' said Will
'Yeah, yeah, we come to investigate,' said the other one sniffing the air.
'My wife, i have killed her,' I confessed.
They looked at each other and laughed HA HAH HA
'You dont have a wife,' said Will.
And then the theme song began rolling BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, WHAT YA GONA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?
And Will and his partner began moving towards me and their eyes looked mean.They were going to rape me, but then the walls burst into flames and riding on massive horses white men in cone shaped mask came bursting through the flames, going, 'Yee hah yeah hah. yee hah get up boys! and Will and his partner vanished.
And then i was on boat that was leaving an island. It felt good to be leaving the island, slowly the island grew smaller and smaller as the boat drifted out into the ocean. The boat was small and i was alone on it. Soon the island disappeared and i felt lonely, and the water began to swell, the waves growing and growing, knocking the boat around, then out of the brine i saw sharks, big long Grey sharks with the black dead eyes of death, but then i thought how can i dreaming? how? isn't the unconscious unconscious of death, isn't it infantile and unable to deal with death. Thats what Kristeva says in her seminal post modern essays on psychoanalysis? how can i be dreaming? Then a voice came from the sky, 'because your dead Frank.'
It was a familiar voice, it was my father, it was Heath Ledger.
"Frank you little cock sucker, i own you, your dreams are mine now, they belong to 'US said another voice and then Michael Jacksons mutilated face flashed in a sky of lightning.
TO BE CONTINUED
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